Chapter one reckoning by blackest-Angel, literature
Literature
Chapter one reckoning
Chapter one
I woke up screaming gripping at the air as I slowly regain my grip on reality, sadness and loss grip me like claws digging into skin. I seat up slowly and shakily my breath heavy and rapid, I slowly look around my room seen the clutter of books and clothes. I sigh and slowly lay back down on my bed wiping the sweat from my forehead hand trembling like a leaf in the wind, I slowly deepen and slow my breathing down calming myself and closing my eyes as sleep slowly takes its grip.
Hours Later
I slowly wake up groggy and cranky my eyes feeling heavy and tired as a low buzzing noise slowly drones on in the back ground, I slowly hi
I feel your hands in my hair.
I feel your breath on my neck.
I feel your body pressed so close to mine.
I feel your lips on my throat.
I feel your hands move to my back and your lips work their way up to mine.
I feel you and I love it.
I hear you say you love me.
I hear you whisper my name.
I hear you tell me I'm the only one for you.
I hear your breath in my ear.
I hear your soft snores as I fall asleep.
I hear you and I love it.
I see you as I run into your arms.
I see your face break through my world of darkness.
I see you fight away my fears.
I see you wipe away my tears.
I see you're in love with me.
I see you and I love
I am gay.
I'm not a disease, I'm not a problem
I'm not an affliction
I don't need treatment.
I don't need help
I'm not sick
I'm not confused
I'm not a sin.
I am gay.
I'm your daughter
Your sister
Your friend
Your co worker
Your classmate
Your acquaintance
A complete stranger
I am gay.
I need love, just like you
I need smiles
I need support
I need a hug
I need a friend
I need a family
I need acceptance
I need understanding
I need you
I am gay.
I know what love is
I know what pain is
I know what hate is
I know what life is
I am gay.
And I need you to love me
The same way you loved me before you knew
I am gay.
Do you know what it feels like?
To feel so socially awkward
around people that you feel
uncomfortable in your own skin,
knowing that you don't fit in.
And, you walk away...
thinking that being alone
will be better for you -
but you're wrong.
You just feel even more alone;
even more rejected from society;
perhaps even sad, in some way.
What do you do while waiting for someone?
As you wait, and wait, and wait for them -
hoping they'll come soon
lest you seem like a loner
walking aimlessly around,
causing people to pity you.
And your face gets hot,
you start to sweat because
they know -
they know of how alone you are
and they feel sorry for
There once was a boy,
there once was a girl.
He loved the girl dearly,
and the boy was her world.
The boy was kind,
and would be there to stay,
but the girl was broken.
She yearned to fly away.
The boy wouldn't let go,
he was determined to fix her,
but there was no secret,
no miracle cure.
She simply had to go,
set herself free.
This was the answer,
the only true key.
He wouldn't give up,
so she had to shove.
It was all in good interest,
all because of love.
But the boy was so patient,
so determined and kind,
he wouldn't give up.
She made up her mind.
There would be one last push,
one last try
before she had to give up,
let herself die.
Well, you're not anorexic. So you must be fat.
A fat, ugly person.
Well, you fit in with the crowd. You must be a fake.
A fake wannabe.
Well, you're happy. What are you hiding?
You've got to be hiding something.
Well, you're sad. You must be emo.
An emo attention seeker.
Well, you're popular. So you must be a jerk.
Why would anyone like you in the first place?
Well, you're quiet. You must be a nobody.
Nobody at all.
Well, you're you.
What else could go wrong?
Chapter one ( preview) by blackest-Angel, literature
Literature
Chapter one ( preview)
Chapter one
I woke up screaming gripping at the air as I slowly regain my grip on reality, sadness and loss grip me like claws digging into skin. I seat up slowly and shakily my breath heavy and rapid, I slowly look around my room seen the clutter of books and clothes. I sigh and slowly lay back down on my bed wiping the sweat from my forehead hand trembling like a leaf in the wind, I slowly deepen and slow my breathing down calming myself and closing my eyes as sleep slowly takes its grip.
Hours Later
I slowly wake up groggy and cranky my eyes feeling heavy and tired as a low buzzing noise slowly drones on in the back ground, I slowly hi
i carve insignificant poetry into my tongue
and hope the world will pardon the lack of
bated silence, for i write in nothing but
despondent screams and uppercase;
i've forgotten how to let everything go
and i'm tired of my incessant howling,
because it seems to me that the quiet
words are the ones that are the most
heard.